The Lost Diaries of Nigel Molesworth By Geoffrey Willans

Nigel Molesworth, the curse of St. Custard’s school, is known to his huge army of fans through Geoffrey Willans' four books Down with Skool!, How to be Topp, Whizz for Atomms and Back in the Jug Agane, first published between 1953 and 1958, and illustrated by Ronald Searle. Much less famous are the Molesworth diaries that appeared in the magazine Punch between August 1939 and December 1942. This volume is an opportunity to discover a slightly different Molesworth – less philosophical than the boy portrayed in the books, but equally as sardonic, knowing and cynical. The diaries are an introduction to the world and mind of Molesworth, and as such are essential reading for Molesworth fans – all of whom are, of course, “conoisuers of prose and luvers of literature”. The Lost Diaries of Nigel Molesworth

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Obviously, the worst thing about the Compleet Molesworth is that it's comple(e)t(e); an absolute cornucopia when you first get your hands on it, but before long you know it back to front, and then that's all of it - no new nigel.

And then I saw this.

Turns out that contrary to popular misconception, no portion of the books is compiled from the original Punch columns (though some did come from other, later pieces in entirely different magazines). Indeed, this isn't even properly in continuity with the core material. I don't mean little things like the Second World War being underway; that still puts Molesworth's schooldays within a far shorter span than William Brown's, and his first account of an air raid is one of the highlights here. No, it's far more serious stuff like his not being at st. custard's, not having most of his supporting cast, not even entirely having that unique perspective, the all-seeing Olympian nevertheless trapped within the machine*. These are, in short, rough drafts of something a little different to what we know and love, and that's even before you consider Searle not being involved at that stage (though they've found a creditable ringer to illustrate this publication). To some extent, what I did when I bought this is the exact equivalent of what lots of other middle-aged men did four days earlier when they picked up expensive vinyl issues of demos for Record Store Day**. Hell, at no stage here does he even say 'as any fule kno' (although there are new running jokes and turns of phrase in exchange; I am particularly taken with absolute snubs). But for all that, the Molesworth of Earth-2 is still more Molesworth I never thought I'd get - with the bonus of being a fascinating piece of social history, demonstrating a thoroughgoing willingness to poke fun at the War even in its darkest days. And if it's not quite as funny as what I still want to call the original, it remains considerably funnier than most things.

*Until I typed that, I never realised Molesworth was a Gnostic allegory. I'm fairly certain Willans didn't either, but that doesn't mean it ain't so.
**A vague sense of shenanigans is enhanced not by padding a slim volume out with introduction, context &c, which is fair enough, but by having the Arabic page numbering of the diaries proper carry on the count from the Roman of the forematter, as against restarting from 1 - something I've not seen before and which is really not the done thing. Still, you do have to sympathise with the strain of anyone trying to edit Molesworth which, as Robert Kirkpatrick notes, basically gave him a screen full of red and green underlining. 152 Any less than 5 stars for this book would be a chiz and a swindle, as eny fule kno. 152