Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness By Rick Hanson
A few gems, but I had the unshakable feeling I'd read this book before; however, seeing as it's new, I clearly haven't, so. I felt a lot of stuff was repeated. The visualization exercises were just the same thing over and over, too repetitive for me, especially if you read the book straight through like I did. But more importantly, the visualization exercises were just not believably helpful and not something I felt like would actually help. I still enjoyed the breakdown of tools to help build a stronger core. It was a quick read, though. I appreciated the reminders about neuroplasticity- that's a pretty incredible thing. 304 I quite enjoyed Hanson’s book Buddha’s Brain. While Resilient has a lot of great information, it was a bit of a slog to get through. 304 This book essentially discusses 12 different ‘tools’ which help activate an inner strength and enhance an inner resilience of character. There were many gems of wisdom in this book and I found that it consolidated a lot of my previous self-development work. This also came at a very timely period in my own personal life and I drew a lot of perspective (and thus, healing) from the exploration of developing resilience and personal mental strength with regards to external situations and ‘uncontrollable’ outside forces. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in self-development and personal growth texts. It was both simple and easily accessible whilst simultaneously wise and mentally invigorating. 304 Despite being near the end, I put it down and gave up. I suspect I picked this book up because it mentions attachment theory, which I am a student of. However, this is the DUMBEST book on resilience I have read so far. It's full of pithy step programs and quips that amount to simply snap out of your bad thoughts and reprogram your brain! ...Maybe it helped someone, but I feel like I'm on a completely different playing field that doesn't relate to this material at all.
I suspect my playing field is in good company, populated by people who don't give a sh!t if they relate to others because they are tired of trying and are most content when they go their own way, perhaps with a higher IQ than average. If that's you, I humbly suggest picking up an Ayn Rand book (Anthem might be a good place to start). Her works have helped me see that perhaps resilience itself is not my problem; forfeiting independent thought and going with the flow of the idiot masses is not resiliency, it's stupidity. Resiliency is being true to yourself and your ideals/principles; and it's much harder than any silly acronyms or gimmicky analogies can provide. 304 A good book, but on the whole, for me, unmemorable. 304
I’ll admit to a fascination with the concept of resilience, so I grabbed up the Advance Reader’s Copy (ARC) of the latest book from Rick Hanson, Ph.D. The full title is long and descriptive: Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. But don’t let this scare you away.
Hanson takes a complex concept, adds layers, and then deconstructs everything so it’s easy to grasp.
Resilient is broken down into four parts, each with three chapters. There’s something about the symmetry of this that makes reading it (or listening to, as I did) go smoothly. And I think that’s part of Hanson’s plan. For me, each part or chapter was like another stone in a gently-balanced cairn.
In addition, he takes three approaches and combines them. The first is his background as a psychologist. Much of this book contains things I’ve heard from therapists over the years. But Hanson takes this perspective and adds layers, making the ideas seem fresh and unique. The second approach is that of Buddhism. Hanson incorporates this softly, with quotes and stories. If Eastern philosophy’s not your thing, I’m guessing you won’t feel forced to agree.
Thirdly, Hanson adds the layer of neuroplasticity, which is the idea that the brain can remake its well-worn behavior pathways with some assistance. Neuroplasticity is an intense scientific concept, but Hanson gives the reader bite size pieces. That helps make it digestible, as does the fact he uses many examples and jargon-free language to explain the ideas.
My conclusions:
I am deeply appreciative of self-help authors who create “Key Concept” sections throughout their book. These are the places I highlight (yes, I had an ebook copy of this as well). When I come back to this book in a few months, it’ll make finding what I want so much easier.
Two of my favorite “key concepts” included the ideas of disentangled and full pardon forgiveness. This is a perfect example of how Hanson imparts his ideas. Contained in the fourth part, titled Relating, and in the chapter on Generosity, he’s found a perfect spot for the ideas. If they’d been introduced earlier on, I might not have been ready—just as it feels with real-life forgiveness. And Hanson doesn’t force his readers to forgive in full pardon, recognizing it’s just not always possible. Instead, he offers a mid-way point with disentangled forgiveness. Thus, the participant in resilience is able to benefit from the information, while still being on the path of growth.
I recommend this book to seekers, and also to those looking for a way to incorporate techniques to build neuroplasticity into everyday life. It’s well worth your time!
Acknowledgements:
Many thanks to NetGalley, the authors, and Crown Publishing / Harmony for the digital ARC in exchange for this honest review. 304 Sometimes I like to believe I'm over self-help books, but I have to reward this with five stars, for several reasons. First of all, there's amazing amount of self-revealing from the author, which is a bravery of special kind that I admire. And second, I didn't notice any arbitrary psycho babble typical of these kinds of books. Here, everything seems to be grounded in science. There are also lots of practical exercises, and there's zero doubt in my mind that if you seriously apply yourself to practice all the techniques, you can make significant positive change in your life. 304 This was an insightful and inspiring book to read during the pandemic. It was recommend by a colleague who was using it in a seminar on resilience. I was pleasantly surprised by the breadth of subjects that Rick Hanson covers in a relatively short book. He focuses on practical suggestions and coping strategies, and I found a lot to appreciate.
Some of the topics I found especially meaningful were on body acceptance, dealing with feelings of failure, parental relationships, and anger. I listened to this on audio, but there were so many good examples that I got a print copy to mark some quotes. Recommend for readers who like books on personal growth.
Personal Note: In the chapter on Mindfulness, Hanson talked about the importance of finding a refuge, anything that protects, nurtures, or uplifts you. He mentions how places can be refuges, such as a favorite coffee shop, church, library or a park. With that mention of library, I flashed back to my childhood and remembered how much I had loved spending time at the public library. During the summer I would go there for hours — I remember once checking out so many books that I maxed out my limit. In junior high I noticed that a girl who was a grade above me got a part-time job there, and I was sooooooooo envious. That may have been the first time I thought, I want to work in a library when I grow up. And here I am, several decades later, working in a lovely little library and hopefully creating a welcoming refuge for others.
Meaningful Passages
The fear of failure is worsened if you grew up with a lot of criticism, even if there was also a lot of love. It's also worsened if you are part of a company — or more broadly, an economy — that's incentivized to keep people on the proverbial hamster wheel, with real success always slightly out of reach ... Consequently, try to notice some of the many goals you accomplish daily. Be mindful of succeeding at small outcomes ... Even in a very difficult life, it's possible to feel successful in many ways. The more that you feel defeated about some things, the more important it is to recognize your victories in many other things.
To have more acceptance of your body, start by bringing to mind some people you like and respect. How much does the way they look matter to you? Probably very little.
Anger is a messenger. What is it telling you about your deeper frustrations?
Beware the rewards the come with anger... the surge of righteous indignation and energy that comes with anger can feel stimulating, organizing and even pleasurable. Anger is also an effective way to hide hurt and vulnerability, assert status or dominance, push away fear, and compensate for feeling small or weak.
What's the most important minute in life? I think it's the next one. There is nothing we can do about the past, and we have limited influence over the hours and days to come. But the next minute — minute after minute after minute — is always full of possibility. Are there opportunities to be on your own side, bring caring to your pain, accept yourself, and enjoy what you can? Is there something you could heal, something you could learn? 304 Dear. Oh Dear.
I'm starting to avoid books with 'happiness' in the title...
We have the 'fully hippy' journey here. Resilience. Mindfulness. Self love. Self forgiveness.
What is remarkable about such books is the complete disconnection from context. People are not unhappy because of a lack of self love. They are unhappy because of a diabolical workplace, complex family structures and an unstable economy. Resilience is not created through individual choices.
Resilience is created by transforming organizational cultures to remove the culture of self blame for wider social injustices.
This book is basic, sad and - yes - worrying. 304 Out March 27th- THIS is the book we need! The current discussion surrounding trauma and adverse childhood experiences focuses on teachers recognizing trauma and responding appropriately to create a safe space for children. Teachers discussing trauma sometimes morph the correlation between trauma and negative behavioral/health outcomes into statements of causation. For a number of reasons, I find this exasperating! In addition, the approaches discussed always seemed too reactive instead of proactive. Simply recognizing trauma is not enough; our kids deserve more!
We know countless kids today have high ACE scores. How can we create resilient children who will grow into successful adults? How can we help them pursue their goals in the face of challenges? How can we help them avoid some of the negative impacts of trauma? What is in our circle of control as teachers?
Dr. Hanson outlines 12 areas of focus within the realms of safety, satisfaction, and connection. Each of these realms moves from recognizing, resourcing, regulating, and (the highest level) relating. Each of these areas is a chapter and provides a more action oriented look at building resilience in ourselves and/or the children we work with.
1. Compassion
2. Mindfulness
3. Learning
4. Grit
5. Gratitude
6. Confidence
7. Calm
8. Motivation
9. Intimacy
10. Courage
11. Aspiration
12. Generosity
True resilience fosters well-being, an underlying sense of happiness, love, and peace. 304
The culmination of New York Times bestselling author and respected psychologist Rick Hanson's work, this is a scientifically grounded program for developing the 12 inner strengths for being resilient no matter what life throws at you.
Rick Hanson is known for his trademark blend of neuroscience, positive psychology, and contemplative practices. And now he's showing the way to build the very foundation of well-being: Resilience. Today, people feel rattled by political and economic forces, and realize that they need to be able to rely on their own inner guidance systems in order to stay happy and calm. Not simply about weathering negative experiences, Resilient's groundbreaking program shows you how to harness the power of positive experiences in order to build an unshakeable core.
In this succinct guide to lasting happiness, Dr. Hanson has distilled 40 years of clinical work and teaching into the tools that actually work. Each of these 12 tools grows a key inner strength for resilience, allowing you to enter a positive cycle in which resilience creates a sense of well-being, which creates even more resilience, and so on. Developed from his incredibly popular online course called The Foundations of Well-Being, this essential book offers everything you need to shore up these powerful inner strengths. In his inimitable friendly, warm, straightforward tone, Dr. Hanson shares stories, support, and simple thoughts and actions that lead to deeply rooted change. Here is the groundwork that will allow you to meet life with a whole heart. Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness