No Place to Hide: Facing Shame So We Can Find Self-Respect By Michael P. Nichols
Each of us is controlled in some way by shame, one of the ugliest emotions in human experience. It saps our self-respect, builds walls between people, and forces us to create elaborate defences to protect ourselves. This informative and practical analysis of the role of shame in our lives helps us to understand the root of our insecurity. Only by facing and coming to terms with our shame can we begin to resolve insecurities and become free to participate fully in life. Nichols discusses love and worth, the social sources of humiliation, the frustration of adolescence, and positive parenting, among other important topics, in this wonderful combination of clinical sophistication, common sense, and humanity! No Place to Hide: Facing Shame So We Can Find Self-Respect
Part I was full of that's me!'s, shared, I know by at least two of the previous borrowers of this library book by the wall to wall highlighting and underlining. By itself, it would have gotten 3 stars from me.
Part II would have gotten two stars if it was lucky. Interesting, I imagine, to parents wanting to learn how to raise strong children and the author's peer group looking to see how his theories are constructed, for the person wanting to learn to understand and help themselves...it's a slog through lots of psych concepts and jargon.
Part III makes the slog worthwhile, practical discussions of how to think about the way shame shows up in your life without being overly preachy or stating what is obvious to any person with a brain (but apparently most self-help authors think they're brilliant for stating).
Biggest positive: I expected a book on such a nasty topic to be nasty to read. One of its strong suits is that it is emotionally safe and accessible and breaks the tough into digestible chunks. Chock full of good insights that are worth paying attention to (though bring your brain, not all of his insights are good and worthy).
Biggest negatives: The language of psychoanalysis. My eyes glaze over if even a whisper of Freud comes up, so I may be a bit biased.
It's a bit behind the times for understanding of gender and sexuality even for its 1991 publication date, and purely archaic in those areas by today's standards.
Occasionally he wanders off into a rant on his opinion of what's wrong with society et al. that isn't particularly relevant or helpful, but at least the change in tone is clear enough that your brain can go 'oh, this isn't an authoratative part.'
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