Reading this book I was new to PUA topic and the psychology about it. Although the book is over wordy and doesn't always go straight to the point, I had lots of eye opening Aha! moments. A lot of concepts directly intersects with RSD teachings, but they are named differently (i.e. RSD - abundance, Rollo Tomassi - Plate Theory, same concepts, different names). And the one thing I remember the most from this book is Hypergamy doesn't care... joke.
Author describes todays world as a Matrix and by writing this book he was trying to unplug modern men from it. Dirty work.
In todays world most men are fallen into what Rollo calls Feminine Imperative - the concept which describes why most men lack masculinity in their life, why they are getting punished for it, and why they are playing different roles: White Knights, Savors, Providers, and Nice Guys. As a man from the very beginning, as a child, we are conditioned to support feminine role - and I agree with it, I had a lot of evidences about it in my own life. We take as truth different myths, conditioned by society: the ONE, Let's Just Be Friends, Just Be Yourself, there is always someone for everyone. We are conditioned to this stuff to that point where we can't even notice it. And now you have a choice. Like in the movie Matrix: take a red pill for eye opening by reading this book or take a blue pill and continue living in ignorance by skipping it.
But he goes even further by exploring different buffers that we use nowadays: texting, social media, porn and he even give advice not get married until you are 35. And I liked it. The idea is that at that age, growth oriented men reach peaks in their careers or establish own business, they have the highest social status in their entire life, they are not too young or too old, and they are still healthy at that point, that's why they are more valuable to women and are able to select the best possible spouse for living at old ages.
This book is very close to The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. Rollo also talks about the idea why Women must be only a compliment to a man's life, never the focus of it, and why men firstly should follow their own purpose. But by adding concept about Hypergamy - when a woman seeks a man of higher status than herself for marriage, it gives you a different perspective on your behavior with opposite sex.
The Iron Rules of Tomassi
#1 - Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of who's frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are
#2 - Never, under pain of death, honestly or dishonestly reveal the number of women you've slept with or explain any detail of your sexual experiences with them to a current lover
#3 - Any woman makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait
#4 - Never under any circumstance live with a woman you aren't married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months
#5 - Never allow a woman to be in control of the birth. Use condoms
#6 - Women are fundamentally incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved by a woman
#7 - It is always time and effort better spent developing relations with new, fresh, prospective women that it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship
#8 - Always let a woman figure out why she wont fuck you, never do it for her
#9 - Never seriously self-deprecate with a woman you intend to be intimate with
Main takeaways:
- Women get the men they deserve
- Attention is the main currency in woman's life
- Woman's behavior is the only gauge of her intent
- SMV graph, women's peak at 23 years, men't peak at 37
- There is no such thing as long distance relationships. The only reason why men are considering it due to a lack of other options
- It is men who are the real romantics, not women, but it is the society conditioning that stands that women who are the romantic ones
- Women are dream killers. Not because they have an agenda to be so, but because men will all too willingly sacrifice their ambitions for a steady supply of pussy and the responsibilities that women attach to this
Favorite quotes:
'Apologizing for a lack of Game isn't Game'
'Genuine Desire cannot be negotiated'
'When a woman wants to fuck you she will find a way to fuck you'
'Women want a man who other men want to be or, and other women want to fuck'
'Women don't want a man to cheat, but they love a Man who could cheat'
'Nothing is more threating yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his own value to women' Paperback Few books make you a better person. This book belongs to that elite category.
This book is essentially a collection of essays that explains why our society functions the way it does, down to the very minutiae we take for granted. The topics it covers are vast, and controversial, but it's all here. Everything from the dynamics of human relationships, sexual strategies, how to go about improving yourself (and why it matters), to how the reality we live in has a very obvious female-centric bias. The latter is particularly a salient point once you begin reading between the lines. For example, have you ever seen a positive masculine character in a sitcom? Homer Simpson seems to be the archetype, while women are the ones that have to put up with these doofuses.
Be warned, though, you can't ever unread something like this. And once you do, you won't be able to go back to seeing the world as you once did before.
I've been reading Rollo's blog for years now, so having a collection of his essays in a hard copy feels great. If you're a fan of his works, I recommend ordering a personal copy. If not, I still recommend reading as the points made are very likely things you've never thought about before. Paperback A lot of interesting points, some true, mostly pseudoscience dressed up as fact to give hope to women-hating blokes who don't actually know any women by enforcing ideas that women have been against them this entire time and the only way they'll ever have successful relationships with them is by figuring out their 'tricks'.
The book has a wholly conspiratorial style (which the writer acknowledges in all fairness) with wisdom such as this gem; as with most things women, what seems like the most deductive solution is often a cleverly disguised trap and he even goes as far as to say men exist to facilitate a feminine reality. I don't see how anyone in their right mind could see this as anything but delusional.
In any case, a well written book with some fascinating ideas but consisting of 20% biological facts and 80% anecdotal pseudoscience which I believe, if you were to take everything in this book as gospel, would leave you far from the ideal of 'rational male'. Paperback Rollo is a manlet beta that doesn't lift but that said this book isn't terrible, just feels like a long blog post written by an internet blogger (which it is). All the truths and red pill wisdom are just regurgitations that have been written before by better men. One of the lines he writes in here is that we are who we say we are which is stupid as fuck. Rollo talks a big game online but you see pictures of him at beta convention aka 21 and he looks like a pussy.
The first rule of anything red pilled is to lift. And if a guy doesn't lift then he's useless. Also he's married and only produced one kid, very beta. Paperback https://seriology.home.blog/2017/08/2...
If you want the single best introduction to the concept of the Red Pill, look no further than The Rational Male (2013) by Rollo Tomassi. The description below from Amazon is an apt summary of what this book is about and I will not attempt to steal Mr. Tomassi’s thunder by rewording his explanation.
“The Rational Male is a rational and pragmatic approach to intergender dynamics and the social and psychological underpinnings of intergender relations. The book is the compiled, ten-year core writing of author/blogger Rollo Tomassi from therationalmale.com. Rollo Tomassi is one of the leading voices in the globally growing, male-focused online consortium known as the “Manosphere.” Outlined are the concepts of positive masculinity, the feminine imperative, plate theory, operative social conventions, and the core psychological theory behind Game awareness and “red pill” ideology. Tomassi explains and outlines the principles of intergender social dynamics and foundational reasoning behind them.”
Tomassi is a southern California native who spent much of his twenties as a Los Angeles-based rock musician, which afforded him ample opportunity with a variety of women to lay (no pun intended) the foundations for this book on intergender relations in the feminized, post-modern, 21st-century West.
It bears mentioning that Tomassi has been a happily married man since his late twenties with at least one daughter. I point this out to show that this is not some angry, alpha-wannabe, misogynist jerkboy letting off steam to get back at all the women who have ever rejected his romantic advances. For what it’s worth, Tomassi also holds two bachelor degrees―one of which is in psychology.
This book is in no way some lame pick-up artist (PUA) manual for the desperate, female-challenged man. There is a fair amount of scientific, evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology behind the main concepts Tomassi returns to time and time again: the feminine imperative, female hypergamy, plate theory, competition anxiety etc.
It is worth noting that the book is really a compilation of the material Tomassi considers the best of his first year blogging at therationalmale.com. You can read most of the book on his blog, but the idea of reading close to the equivalent of 300 pages staring at a computer or phone screen held no appeal for me.
I won’t start elaborating in detail on the main ideas in The Rational Male or the Red Pill approach to women and life. I invite you, dear reader, to explore this broad, fascinating, and increasingly popular subject on your own. Suffice to say, that Tomassi’s entire effort is to better understand what truly drive men and women as they pursue relation(ship)s with one another. The idealized veneer of modern romance is stripped away to expose the fundamental motivations of each sex―motivations rooted predominantly in biology and, to some extent, cultural conditioning.
This anti-feminist book will assuredly make men more cynical about romance and relationships and will lead to throngs of shrieking, enraged women denouncing Tomassi’s discoveries and observations on the calculating, self-serving female nature. I also came away with a feeling of sadness and hopelessness, which could have been somewhat mitigated had Tomassi expanded upon how he has found lasting happiness in his marriage.
However, my main gripe with the book has to be the sloppy editing. The text is littered with typos, punctuation and grammatical errors, and formatting issues (e.g. very small typeface, two chapters numbered 10, inconsistent paragraph indentations etc.). I had to laugh when Tomassi mentions his editor at some point in the book.
The other problem I have is how Tomassi has a tendency to divide men into assertive, successful, masculine alphas or weak, loser, pushover betas. There is considerably more variety on the male spectrum in addition to these two simplistic extremes, and Vox Day has laid out a more reasonable and realistic socio-sexual hierarchy.
Overall, this interesting and thoroughly original book deserves four stars for the original content (not to mention highly inventive lingo), but the shoddy editing and substandard layout bring it down to three out of five stars for me. The Rational Male is most definitely worth reading and will certainly change and―I would argue―improve your understanding of women, dating, and relationships.
Best Quotes from the Book:
A man is as confident and valuable as his options.
First principle of power: when you have power, always feign powerlessness.
Attention is the coin of the realm of female society.
Sexuality is a woman’s first, best agency and even the homeliest women know this.
Women should only ever be a compliment to a man’s life, never the focus of it.
The genders were meant to be complimentary, not adversarial.
In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.
Rejection is better than regret.
Power is the degree over which you control your own life.
Our great danger in this life is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.
Nothing is as simultaneously fear inspiring and arousing for women as a man she suspects is self-aware of his own value.
A cardinal truth of the universe is that genuine desire cannot be negotiated.
Women always have the prerogative to change their minds. Men must be resolute.
Don’t wish things were easier, wish you were better.
Never under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry within six months.
Women are fundamentally incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved by a woman.
Men believe that love matters for the sake of it. Women love opportunistically.
Men are romantics pretending to be realists; women are realists pretending to be romantics. Paperback
The Rational Male is a rational and pragmatic approach to intergender dynamics and the social and psychological underpinnings of intergender relations. The book is the compiled, ten-year core writing of author/blogger Rollo Tomassi from therationalmale.com.
Rollo Tomassi is one of the leading voices in the globally growing, male-focused online consortium known as the Manosphere. Outlined are the concepts of positive masculinity, the feminine imperative, plate theory, operative social conventions and the core psychological theory behind Game awareness and red pill ideology. Tomassi explains and outlines the principles of intergender social dynamics and foundational reasoning behind them. The Rational Male
Probably one of the most interesting texts on gender relations and sexual strategy. Ever since I read The Game I have been interested in seduction but generally I thought the methods were strange or crass.
This book lays out why the initial PUA movement was able to have success but also digs a level deeper and tries to explain why many women act the way they do when choosing partners. I would highly recommend to all of my male friends who want a different perspective on dating in the 21st century Paperback I revisited my review on this book and I am giving it 2 stars.
It's a book that promotes unhealthy relationships. It never talks about a healthy relationship with yourself. It only talks about how you can use the external world of women to boost your ego to a point where you can feel secure in your skin.
It doesn't teach you a thing or two about becoming a healthy human being.
edit: Since this review is being read I would like to spread some awareness. I read this book 3 years ago and since then a lot of learning about relationships have ensued.
We men are deprived from emotional support from a very young age. As little boys we stop getting smiled at, we stop being treated as kids with the phrase;man up, big boys don't cry this can happen as early as age 5 or 6. A time in which we are still very dependant on emotional support.
this creates an emotional black hole of un-met needs and desires of emotions. That's why we sometimes crave women so much, because they have a more healthy emotional system. they get support from their girlfriends, they get smiled at more often, and listened to.
whereas we men, to console each Other we help each Other with numbing the pressing pain of that void by, for example, Alcohol, or watching sports.
This book is so bad in that it tells you to go and get all the women so that you finally may think you're enough. That you may finally feel 'alpha'. Yet In that journey there is only strife. It's a place where women will not feel safe around you, nor men. Nor will you ever feel safe around them, because It's a single winners game, which means everyone else is a loser. And lest you want to be in the loser group you always have to be on edge.
A book like this basicly keeps you in a forever loop trying to fill that void by covering it up with layers of tricks and manipulations. External world adaptations for your internal problem.
But that's not what eventually gives anyone a healthy and sustainable relationship.
This emotional black hole problem is universal in all men. (A few exceptions here and there) All of us have experienced this lack. Women haven't experienced this and so they cannot hear us, or share our vision on this.
A more healthy approach is to take care of your emotional black hole with other men. Because they will understand you. Take the time to really listen to your brothers and open up. Soften, hug, cry. And when a brother does that, give him a safe space from understanding. It's crucial to not try this with women around because they do just simply NOT understand what It's like.
When you have taken care of your emotional needs you can meet a woman on equal grounds. Your 'needyness' dissolves instantly and you'll be able to fully embrace your inner masculine side because It's supported by your own inner feminine.
It will stop the need for us all to always chase and want women's attention. It will make you a man who's attractive, whole and grounded. A force to be reckoned with. Paperback There are very few books that once I start reading I refuse to finish; this is one. An acquaintance loaned me this particular book when I expressed an interest in philosophy. Apparently our ideas of the meaning of philosophy are a bit different. The author's primary hypothesis is that it is important, no necessary, that men maintain a position of power in male/female intimate relationships. This book is a poorly camouflaged version of how to get women in your bed - and keep them there. It reminded me of the obnoxious character played by Tom Cruise in the film Magnolia in which he leads high-priced seminars for (losers) men on how to pick up women. This type of approach when presented to impressionable young college age men will merely continue to support the sexist conditions of today's society. Too bad I can't give zero stars.
Addendum: The couple of guys who responded to my review actually proved a number of my points. Their sophomoric responses epitomize the pretensions of the book. For example “Cemore”, (perhaps an homage to Seymour Butts of porn director “fame”? - his hero?) his first response in his “blistering” takedown of my review is to LOL me. Then he immediately asks how many women I have been with; as if that determines my right to rate this piece of garbage being foisted off as dating advice for young men. Then, of course, to establish HIS superior “alphaness” to me, he claims to have “been dating some of the most beautiful women there are in the last 18 years”. Wow! He really put me in my place with that statement. But, in reference to whether a man should ever ask a woman what restaurant she would prefer for dinner - hint women HATE being asked their opinions - he really “drives it home” (a phrase I’m sure he’ll especially appreciate) by saying “It’s not sexist if it’s true”. OMG! I couldn’t believe someone would have this opinion in the 21st century, let alone commit it to print in a public forum! It is more appropriate written on the wall of a cave! He goes on to say “Women don’t want control if [sic] nor the power in a relationship.” He goes on to say “...and I’ve read it all.” referring to there being no proof in existence that women want any kind of power. This, he says, “put the nail in my beta coffin for good” alluding to his now alpha maleness after having read “The Rational Male”. I would suggest some further readings for him if I thought it would do any good - it won’t.
The other chauvinist review was pulled by the author so I am unable to respond to it. But suffice it to say that it rambled on in a similarly junior-high-school-hormone-fueled rant. Paperback I finally read some stuff from The Red Pill without getting triggered. Before I would cringe at all their acronyms and apparently anger-based discussion around male-female relationships. But the more I learn and the more I heal my own inner alpha-male, I can see the truth and humanity behind what the manosphere has to say.
The Rational Male is a seminal book if you want to understand where a lot of men are coming from these days. The positive masculinity movement is a reaction against Feminist culture (or what they call the Feminine Imperitive, or girl-world, that has left many men feeling like they are demonized for being men. This book, along with The Red Pill and other Manosphere material is like the boys locker room or a surrogate father figure trying to coach men without catering to the voice of the feminine.
What you get is discussion, theory, and philosophy behind attraction, relationships, love, desire, and personal growth. This book will trigger you. It will reflect back to you your own judgments. You will probably hate it. And that's exactly why I think you should pay attention. What you hate says a lot about you. How can we all come to a more holistic understanding of each other? How can we build better relationships and partnerships between men and women? This book doesn't exactly offer a solution, but does provide a very masculine perspective in a world where feminine traits are becoming more dominant. I believe in the end we will become more balanced humans, and this is just part of the story of our evolution. Paperback Content is great; it's very thought provoking, to the point of headache-inducing. I think all men in America should read this book and get familiar with the concepts within. That being said, it really could use more editing. There are a couple typographical errors, and this book would greatly benefit from a glossary and index. Paperback
