With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron shares with us her ups and downs in I Feel Bad About My Neck, a candid, hilarious look at women who are getting older and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.
The woman who brought us When Harry Met Sally..., Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, and Bewitched, and the author of best sellers Heartburn, Scribble Scribble, and Crazy Salad, discusses everything -from how much she hates her purse to how much time she spends attempting to stop the clock: the hair dye, the treadmill, the lotions and creams that promise to slow the aging process but never do. Oh, and she can't stand the way her neck looks. But her dermatologist tells her there's no quick fix for that.
Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. She recounts her anything-but-glamorous days as a White House intern during the JFK years (I am probably the only young woman who ever worked in the Kennedy White House that the President did not make a pass at) and shares how she fell in and out of love with Bill Clinton - from a distance, of course. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as a woman of a certain age.
Utterly courageous, wickedly funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a book of wisdom, advice, and laugh-out-loud moments, a scrumptious, irresistible treat. I Feel Bad About My Neck, And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman
CHARACTERS I Feel Bad About My Neck, And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman
I Feel Bad about My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a [Rich White] Woman [Living in a Bubble of Privilege on the Upper East Side]
I like Nora Ephron (her politics, movies, etc), and I really wanted to enjoy this book. But it's painfully dull, and her witty insights are bland/overtrodden enough to make Andy Rooney seem cutting edge.
Worse yet, many of her complaints are offensively tone-deaf to the realities most people face.
- Nora Ephron sees a homeless woman on the street? Time to complain at length about the price of her weekly hair and nail appointments, and joke that she's just a few missed beauty treatments away from becoming a bag lady. (Kinda horrifying that a feminist icon would completely ignore — and hell, mock — the humanity of a homeless woman).
- Ephron gets surgery done by one of the world's best surgeons? Time to complain about how she wishes she'd had her plastic surgeon present to help avoid a small scar.
- NY passes law changing rent-control regulations? Time to complain about how her salary, which exceeds the new $250,000 threshold set by the new law, means the rent will increase on her 7-room Manhattan apartment.
The last third of the book is tolerable; she's best when writing about death, the joy of reading, or reminiscing about her days as a young woman in sexist work environments. But it's not enough to overcome the book's overall flaws. In short, these are the ramblings of an old rich person complaining about old rich person problems. 139
Multi-talented Nora Ephron was a journalist, director, and author. In her heyday Ephron wrote the screenplays for some very popular movies including 'Julie and Julia', 'You've Got Mail', 'Sleepless in Seattle', 'When Harry Met Sally', and 'Silkwood.'
Nora Ephron
This audiobook - read by the author - contains a collection of humorous essays written when Ephron was 60 years old...and stopped having birthdays. In fact Ephron notes that, upon publication of this book, she'll have been 60 for five years (ha ha ha 😊).
As might be expected, many of the essays touch on the subject of aging. The book's title, for instance, refers to the fact that 'older ladies' in Ephron's circle always wear turtlenecks or scarves to hide those crepey necks. (I think this is an exaggeration but I get the idea.)
Ephron's semi tongue-in-cheek description of her maintainance regime includes regular coloring sessions at the hairdresser followed by bi-weekly blowouts, frequent manicures and pedicures, a rigorous exercise schedule, constant dieting, botox injections, bath oils, and endless containers of expensive lotions for specific parts of the body (hands, face, feet, etc.) - which must NEVER cross over. All this is costly and time-consuming...but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to keep from looking like the bag lady on the corner.
Ephron lovingly describes her large rent-controlled apartment in Manhattan's Apthorp building, which was close to every kind of store, hairdresser, nail salon, restaurant, etc. that a person could want - as well as a playground for the kids. Ephron lived in this heavenly residence for many years until - with the end of rent control - the rent was set to rise to $12,000 a month. Wow!
Apthorp Building
In another entertaining story Ephron speaks about her dismay when cabbage strudel disappeared from Manhattan restaurants and bakeries. Ephron was an excellent cook who - like the character in 'Julie and Julia' - worked her way through much of Julia Child's cookbook. However, hard as she tried, Ephron couldn't reproduce the strudel. The writer goes to great lengths, and even consults friends in high places, to try to find this savory delight. Does she succeed? You'll have to read the book to know.
Cabbage Strudel
Ephron was an intern in President John F. Kennedy's White House and - inspired by one of Kennedy's blabby flings - tells the 'true story' of her relationship with the handsome politician. She also talks about her 'love affair' with Bill Clinton. Nothing scandalous...I don't want to start any rumors. LOL. 😊
John F. Kennedy
Bill Clinton
Other essays mention Ephron's discomfort with aging, her numerous marriages, her kids, her career, her celebrity neighbors, and her sadness when her best friend became ill and died.
Complete honesty: The book lags in places and the author's narrating style - slow with odd emphases - is a little distracting.
The essays are aimed at metropolitan 'women of a certain age', but many people would probably enjoy the book. I'd recommend it to readers who want an entertaining light read.
You can follow my reviews at https://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot.... 139 It's been a rough couple years...I mean days. I grabbed this book off the shelf in the library and sat behind my son as he played some cartoony anatomy game wherein he places organs in the correct spot on a very happy looking skeleton (even though I have noted several key organs are simply not there...but I digress.). Anyway, I really had to leave the library because I was cracking up. This collection of essays includes some that are very funny and some that are less so but I had several laugh out loud moments in the few hours it took to read this book. There were some seriously funny comments and that is about all I was looking for. My favorite feeling is when my stomach hurts from laughing. Mission accomplished! A light, fun read. 3.5 stars
Update: I have thought of this book so often over the past few months...mainly because I seem to have tech neck, which is the deep groove from always looking down at phones & iPads. I insist mine is from reading books, but nonetheless lately I can truly relate! 139 I was so sad for this book to come to an end. I listened to the audiobook, narrated by Nora Ephron herself, which I so enjoyed because it was in such an amusing tone that no other narrator could have captured. There were numerous wise and funny lines throughout that had me constantly rewinding...just so I could hear them again. I hadn’t heard of her books until she passed away, and although I was drawn to this catchy title, I don’t think I could have fully appreciated it at that time since I wasn’t quite “feeling bad about my neck”...yet. But I could still relate to a lot just being a woman and a mother. Not all of her essays were on aging, nor could I relate to them all, but I loved every single one of them, because her candid telling and dry sense of humor made them enjoyable. Learning about her career, marriages, mothering, life in New York City, favorite foods, and the wit with which she dealt with such things was fascinating to me. I laughed hysterically when she described the state of her disheveled purse--how she managed to describe my own purse had me in tears. I loved her essay on “Rapture”, describing how the books she loved transported her to another world. I could so relate, even to some of the books and authors she loved. I felt a sense of melancholy many times, especialy the way she talked about her life and her age, and it made me sad that she died. It was deeply affecting to me when she “danced around the ‘D’ word”, talking about the loss of her friends later in life and how there was nothing to be done about it. Definitely makes one think about life. 5 stars and I’ll be listening to this again, possibly with a scarf around my neck.
139 I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron is an audiobook read by the author. This is my second reading and it seems that I have enjoyed it more than I did the first time. Could it be that I am now at an age closer to the author’s? Ephron’s humor is as sharp as ever and listening to her had me nodding my head in agreement with many of her ways of looking at life in the midlife lane. The same wit that we enjoyed in her movies is present in this book. Because this is an audiobook, I had the pleasure of listening to a voice like no other: her tone makes her views so serious and yet so comical. Nora Ephron, you are missed, especially in these so unfunny times. Highly recommended. 139
This was such a charming book. Aging is clearly very fraught and the sharp wit of the essays in this book is quite wonderful. 139 Every now and then, I need a book that makes me laugh. It became even more imperative when I was wading knee-deep in the philosophical maze in Fyodor Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov. Each chapter in this collection of humorous essays served as a refreshing palette cleanser when I needed lighter fare.
This is my first acquaintance with Nora Ephron (1941 – 2012), an American journalist, writer, and award-winning filmmaker. I was thrilled to learn that she wrote the screenplay for two movies I loved: ‘When Harry Met Sally’ and ‘Sleepless in Seattle.’ I most appreciated these essays for giving me a glimpse of the person behind the writer. Her tone was candid, disarming, and charming.
The thrust of these personal essays is on aging and the indignities women suffer when they are no longer looking their best. The eponymous title story is a grand introduction to a problem any women past their prime will find relatable. ”We all look good for our age. Except for our necks.” According to Ephron’s dermatologist, ”the neck starts to go at forty-three, and that’s that.” Oh help!
With self-deprecating good cheer, Ephron regaled us with anecdotes of her life, crises, and challenges. She told us unabashedly about her failed marriages, divorce, and the horrors of parenting. She shared the inspiration behind her first job as a journalist and then as a writer. A chapter I greatly enjoyed, titled ‘Rapture’, extolled the joy of reading. I learned about her most rapture-inducing book, which I must now read. I was amazed at how much honesty there was in these stories and I nodded in appreciation. A hilarious chapter, ‘I Hate My Purse’, sent such a shock of recognition, I promptly re-organized mine.
Below are snippets I enjoyed:
‘I Feel Bad About My Neck’
“Our faces are lies and our necks are the truth. You have to cut open a redwood tree to see how old it is, but you wouldn’t have to if it had a neck.”
Parenting
“Your adolescent has changed… And you have changed too. You have changed from a moderately neurotic, fairly cheerful human being to an irritable, crabby, abused wreck.”
“The worrying is forever.”
The Story of My Life in 3,500 Words or Less
“I can’t get over this aspect of journalism. I can’t believe how real life never lets you down. I can’t understand why anyone would write fiction when what actually happens is so amazing.”
What I Wish I’d Known
”Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-five.”
Considering the Alternative
‘Why do people write books that say it’s better to be older than to be younger? It’s not better.
I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman is a fun read. I dare say the gentlemen may like it, too, though I doubt they ever have to worry about their necks. I have to admit, I do. 139 I listened to the audio book on CD, which is read by the author. That was not the way to go with this one. She has odd inflections and an unnatural reading cadence. For example, she might read like this:
We lived (pause)
in a white house (pause)
and I didn't (pause)
like it.
Partly because of her reading style and partly because of the content, I had trouble getting into it. It's supposed to be funny but isn't especially. She describes all the maintenance older women do to keep up their appearances at great length and talks about these things as if they are mandatory, when in fact, they are not. She is not a person that a poor, blue-collar woman like me who shops at Target can well relate to. At least not at first. For instance, she talks about the agony of sitting at the beauty parlor all day to get her hair colored and how she spends more money on it each year than her first car cost. And I compose an imaginary email to her in my head where I turn her on to the beauty aisle at Long's Drug Store where you can buy a box of color that takes less than half an hour to use for less than $10.
Later in the book, however, she rather wins me over. She describes the raptures of getting engrossed in a great novel in a way that I (or you, I bet) could totally relate to. The real world is tedious and seems unreal when you're dying to get back to your book. When she's not talking about shopping, she and I do seem to inhabit the same planet and I can see that she has some wisdom to impart.
And I admire her honesty. She mentions all the upbeat chicken-soup-for-the-soul type of books that are out there for older women and says they're full of crap. Being old isn't that great. In this day and age where everyone pretends that whatever age they're at is the new 25, it's refreshing.
This might appeal to a woman who is looking for some light nonfiction to read. Do NOT get the audio version, though. I really think it would have been a totally different experience to read it and I probably would have taken to it much more quickly. 139 Sometimes it takes a friend to get you to read a book. I Feel Bad About My Neck has been on my physical bookshelves for years. I’d look at it and look at my neck and think, “Do you really want to read this book?” I’ve got six friends on GR with the beautiful name of Julie but it was the clever one that wanted to be certain to stand out, the Julie preceded by a flower, that finally gave me the push to read this book. Thank you.
Heartburn, published in 1983 was my first encounter with Nora Ephron. I remember this as a funny, romantic read. Though humor is subjective Ephron’s sense of mirth is fine with me. Never having read any of her other books I certainly am familiar with her films, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle,, and You’ve Got Mail. There are many others.
Though I don’t feel bad about my neck anymore many other things have taken its place. Who knew I should worry about the purse I carry, varicose veins, coloring my hair, manicures, pedicures, the food I serve, my skin, and the dreaded post-menopausal hair, especially the bounty of this growing above my lips.
This was the perfect book for a dreary, rainy day. I Feel Bad About My Neck lightened my mood and reminded me how great it is to be a woman, turtleneck and all.
A special voice is gone as Nora Ephron passed away in 2012 but her talent lives on. Treat yourself to one of her books or a movie for which she was the screenwriter, producer or director. Have a good laugh in honor of one classy woman.
139 3.5 rounded up.
This book is witty for sure and relatable at times but not always. An easy light read for me. 139
