Look at the birds Through the painful days of the pandemic stuck in her home, Courtney Ellis found herself looking down in despair. Soon after, her beloved grandfather died unexpectedly. It was around this same time that Ellis took up watching birds. Took up might not be exactly right―as she puts it, the switch flipped, and she’s been borderline obsessed with birds ever since. Looking Up is a meditation on birding as a practice of hope. Weaving together stories from her own life, including the death of her grandfather, with reflections on birds of many kinds, Ellis invites us to open our eyes to the goodness of God both in the natural world and in our own lives. By looking up to the birds, Ellis found the beauty and wonder of these creatures calling her out of her darkness into the light and hope of God's promises. Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief
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Courtney Ellis and her way with words (and now with grief, and with birds), is a gift. Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief Thanks so much to Netgalley for allowing me an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review!
Unfortunately, I decided to DNF this book. 😅
I was initially drawn in by the title of the book… ironically, the phrase “Looking Up” has held much significance to me, and I was intrigued by how the author describes joining bird watching with grief, hope and her journey through that.
I personally am not a bird watcher, but do enjoy nature and animals. But the bird watching knowledge just felt very foreign to me; and therefore it made it very difficult for me to feel invested in this book.
But I think any bird watcher would be interested in this book! We all deal with grief, and I do wish I read a little more on that in the portion of the book I did read.
I hope to maybe revisit this book sometime down the road, but it just wasn’t for me during this season of life. Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief Ellis is relatively new at birdwatching, but has been a part of ministering to people for a number of years in various ways. Her first forays into birding were a source of great humor in Twitter.
Ellis was very open about the difficulty of balancing parenting, ministry and long distance grieving. And running to see a bird rare in California -- where a kind stranger let her hang out to see a particular specimen drawing people in to the neighborhood from all over California.
At her encouragement, several us took up a Lenten practice of pausing for a few minutes to listen and look for birds. In my case, squirrels were about all that showed up some days. Being still, however, translated well whether the birds showed up.
Looking Up is a series of essays that look at the characteristics of a particular bird. The lessons are part science, part therapy, part grief negotiation.
Perhaps the highest praise I can provide is that my bookmark is a palm frond. It's a rare distinction in my personal library. It marks a book that I will return to often for strength in that day, in that hour, in that moment. I view the book as a part of my cancer recovery journey.
A year ago, I was starting my radiation treatment. A source suggested seeking out beauty to connect the mind, body and soul during the cancer process. Sight unseen, I went to a park near the Center. Walking in, I saw a warning sign for Red-winged Blackbirds that were being very fierce about their territory. I took a few pictures. I would have ignored them prior to Ellis' Tweets.
Knowing more after reading, I plan to stop by as a part of my upcoming Cancerversary. I learned a lot more than facts from Ellis. I learned about hope. Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief
Dreadful things occurred during the Covid pandemic. A marvelous thing also happened that continues to flourish. Millions of people are discovering nature - forests, rivers, lakes, mountains. There is a significant worldwide increase in birdwatching. Moreover, according to an essay in Scientific Reports, “everyday encounters with birdlife were associated with time-lasting improvements in mental well-being.” When asked why birds bring such delight, scientists say that listening and looking at them releases some level of wonder that calms the mind and lifts the spirit. As a life-long birder who can recall my “spark bird,” I agree. I’ve also been a pastor for half my life. These two realities drew me to this book.
Courtney Ellis, a pastor and a new birder, recounts her experience falling in love with birds. She shares her delight with birding, weaving particular knowledge of birds into a memoir of grief, attending her beloved dying grandfather. It’s a rare book that combines the threads of pastoral theology and practice, personal grief and a knowledge of birds that provides a doorway into a wider world of God’s creation. Testifying to her wonder, Ellis gushes, “The more I fall in love with birds, the more I grow to love the whole of creation, standing in awe of the one who spun it all into being.” Effortlessly, the reader moves along with the author as she discusses the pressures of preparing for Holy Week while grieving, seamlessly guiding us into a discussion of the behavior of birds that sheds fresh insight on caring for those grieving. Discussing the Laysan Albatross, who mate for life, she says, “every person is grieving. Every person in our pews. To live is to experience loss. To love is to experience it all the more. Sometimes I wish grief was a visible as an albatross-around-the-neck, like a necklace. It would makes us kinder.”
Those yearning to deepen their experience with creation will be delighted by Ellis’ capacity to learn from her birding adventures. She writes “I love that birding is an exercise in delight, wonder and gratitude.” Echoing Mary Oliver and Simone Weil, “[Birding] teaches me to pay attention, and attention, I think is at the very heart of what it is to be a person.” That is what this book is ultimately about: becoming a person fully alive; present to creation and present to other human beings, particularly those who are suffering. Once you are capable of paying attention in a particular way, it strengthens the capacity to pay attention to life - and death. Encouraging her readers mired in struggle, she quotes Wendell Berry: “be joyful, though we’ve considered all the facts.”
Ellis made a creative narrative structure for her blend of theology, ornithology, pastoral practice and relationships. The chapters feature thirteen birds, some common to everyone like the blue jay, mockingbird, and sparrows, others not so much like quail, warblers or albatrosses. Each chapter weaves knowledge of the species into reflections on compassionate care and personal grieving. The knowledge is a doorway to her experiences with grief and hope. This is a birder-pastor at the height of her skills. Read this book for the birds. Read it for the memoir. Read it that you may flourish in God’s creation.
Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief I already listen to Courtney Ellis' podcast, The Thing with Feathers and could not wait to read this book. While reading it, I could hear the same tone of positivity and hope and, of course, wonderment about birds that she regularly delivers. The book is so much about hope and it contains so many facts about birds that are woven seamlessly into things in life that pertain to all of us. The book is an open look into a family and into community. It gives great food for thought about what the natural world provides for all of us and how we can connect and employ what lessons nature has for us.
Thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the ARC. Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief
This book changed my life.
For one thing, I had to write the darned thing for months and months. Do you know what's hard to do while you're writing a book? Go birding. I will never get those rare warbler sightings back. I guess it's okay, though, because writing about warblers is *almost* the same as seeing them? (Who am I kidding.)
I loved this book most of the time. Other times I hated it. That's the thing about writing. It's like your best friend in all the world, until it isn't. And when it isn't, there's nothing to do but eat too many Sour Patch Kids and look out the window remembering all the birds you could be seeing if you weren't 30,000 words behind your deadline.
I give this book five stars and minus sixty-eight rare warblers that went unspotted. A good trade-off? You read it and tell me. Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief “This story is about birds, yes, but even more than that it is about paying attention to grief as an avenue toward hope.” — Courtney Ellis
In her book, Courtney Ellis writes about a spark bird that gets someone into birding. My own bird was that for me. He also recently passed away after 30 years which has brought me into a season of grieving as well.
But I’ve long paid attention to birds and to their songs, or to simple moments seeing them when God seems to grace me with a reminder of His care as one lands on a window sill. The beauty of goldfinches amazes me. And waterfowl at the lake in our town have always captured my heart.
That said, this book is not just for birders. It interweaves birds with real life grief and other experiences, calling the reader to practice paying attention. Maybe something like birding (but not necessarily that) will help you through grief or hopelessness.
“Looking Up” is beautifully written and will keep you up at night to finish chapter after chapter. And it might just get you into birding or at least fascinate you with interesting bird facts in the midst of bringing you hope in your grief.
Total: 4.5 stars
Readability: 5
Impact: 5
Content: 4
Enjoyment: 4
TW: Occasional cuss words, which disappointed me but did not detract from what I gleaned from the book.
Highlights:
“Tuning in to the beauty and wonder of nature means we will also not escape its horrors.”
“That, too, is part of the grief: we all want to help, to save everyone in this room from the anguish that is to come, but there is nothing more anyone can do. Being present in pain is all we have.”
“Grief unmoors us. It throws us off balance. It crumbles away what we once thought was certain. It can push us to the edge of who we are until we topple over into the chasm beyond.”
“The aching reality is that the battle lines of violence and fear, suspicion and bitterness, death and destruction are not just out there. They run right through the center of each beating human heart. Through mine. Through yours. Through our lowest impulses and our secret sins as we choose who we will serve, this day and every day As we choose, much more often than we should, to serve and honor our idols.”
“Grief can turn us inward, and I can't tell whether its selfishness or survival. Maybe it's both.” Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief Absolutely beautiful writing about birds and hope. Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief My friend Courtney Ellis has both done it again—creating a work of heart and hope—and done it better than ever. This is a book for the birders, no doubt. But it's also a book for people like me, who are not really moved by birds but find expression for grief and hope and doubt and love through their own particular affections. If you care deeply about any one thing, or want to, this is a book for you. Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief An uplifting story of loss, grief, and healing through birding and faith. Inspiring!
Thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the ARC.
Opinions are mine. Looking Up: A Birder's Guide to Hope Through Grief