Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture By Sean McDowell

Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture : McDowell, Sean: : Libri Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture

free read ✓ E-book, or Kindle E-pub ☆ Sean McDowell

How should young people navigate sex, love, and relationships in our culture? Sean McDowell answers this question in a manner that is both thoughtful and engaging. If you are interested in the subject matter, this is a valuable resource to add to your library.In part one of the book, McDowell begins by highlighting how each of us face a difficult choice: will we choose a pleasure centered life focused on self fulfillment, or will we give our lives away for a greater cause? (McDowell 2020, 4). I love how McDowell notes that whereas the world tells us to live for ourselves, to do what we want, to love ourselves, and to disregard truth, Jesus tells us to die to ourselves, to cultivate the right wants, to love others as we love ourselves, and to find truth in knowing and following Him (5 6). McDowell proceeds to get the reader to think about who they will trust in a time when there are many competing voices and invites them to trust God (9 14). McDowell also gets the reader to consider how good and beautiful the world would be if everyone followed the sexual ethics of Jesus (17 22). McDowell’s discussion on what it means to be free is enlightening (25 29). He argues that a truly free person has the capacity of choice and orients their life to God’s design (29). Whether one chooses to be married or single, McDowell notes that commitment brings freedom (31 35). He also helps the reader understand what love means (37 43). I thoroughly enjoyed how McDowell then discusses the significance of honoring God with our body and soul, as well as how the act of sex communicates something (45 50). Noting how Satan distorts God’s plan for sex, McDowell reminds the reader that they can experience God’s forgiveness for their sexual failures and other failures (53 66).In part two of the book, McDowell begins by highlighting how we can love others with our sexuality, as something that goes beyond sexual activity (69 74). This part of the book is structured around the purpose of sex, singleness, and marriage, and myths associated with those three things. First, McDowell argues that the purpose of sex is procreation, unity, and foreshadowing heaven (75 82). Although sex is pleasurable, McDowell argues that pleasure is not the purpose of sex but rather the motivation for engaging in it (78 79). He then addresses three myths about sex: that sex is not a big deal, that sex is merely a private act, and that sexual intercourse is all that matters for purity (83 93). Second, after touching on the nature of singleness, McDowell argues that the purpose of singleness is to serve the Lord and foreshadow heaven (95 101). He then addresses three myths about singleness: that singleness means no family, that singleness is easy, and that singleness is too difficult (103 113). Third, after touching on the nature of marriage, McDowell argues that the purpose of marriage is to portray God’s love for His church, to portray God’s relational character, and to promote the flourishing of children and the benefit of society (115 122). He then addresses three myths about marriage: that marriage will fulfill one’s ultimate relational needs, that marriage will get rid of one’s sin, and that married sex is boring (125 135).In part three of the book, McDowell highlights specific topics from pornography to sexual abuse (139 195). In terms of pornography, McDowell highlights three myths: that it does not affect oneself, that one will quit later, and that one is not harming anyone (139 144). He then suggests a few practical steps to avoid the snare of pornography: utilizing a filter on your devices, confessing your sins to a fellow Christian and experiencing God’s grace, and understanding that porn use is a symptom of deeper brokenness (144 145). In terms of cohabitation, McDowell highlights how cohabitation jeopardizes successful marriages for three reasons: they are different kinds of relationships, men and women have different expectations in cohabiting relationships, and the sexual activity that comes with living together can make it harder for people to evaluate the relationship (147 154). In terms of divorce, I love how McDowell notes that if one understands the higher purpose of marriage, they will be likely to stay faithful and committed to their spouse regardless of how they feel (158 159). He highlights four steps to help divorce proof one’s future marriage: believe that God intends marriage to be permanent, realize how deeply your current choices can influence your future marriage, get to know couples who have healthy marriages, and plan to seek wise counsel before you get married (159 161). In terms of homosexuality, McDowell addresses what the Bible has to say, dismantles the emotional argument to affirm same sex relationships, and encourages Christians who do not have same sex attraction to be good friends to people who do and to stay faithful to Scripture (163 170). In terms of same sex marriage, McDowell makes a case for the Biblical view of marriage without using the Bible based on three points: sex makes babies, society needs babies, and babies need a mom and a dad (171 177). I do not think many would find this to be a compelling case for the Biblical view of marriage because it assumes that all sexual relationships are capable of procreation and that all marriages involve parenting. In terms of transgenderism, McDowell introduces the topic and highlights three points: that God made humans in His image as male and female, that the Bible consistently condemns crossing gender boundaries, and that Scripture is not very specific about what it means to live out one’s biological sex (179 185). He then highlights three ways we can love transgender people: by being motivated by compassion, by being quick to listen and slow to speak, and by speaking truth compassionately (186 187). In terms of sexual abuse, McDowell notes that it harms people physically and spiritually and highlights three points that we can learn from: the Bible is honest about sex abuse, God has a heart for the marginalized, and Jesus understands (189 193). He then highlights three points of encouragement for those who have experienced sexual abuse: recognize your identity in Christ, share your experience with someone, and speak out with your story (193 195). McDowell concludes the book by highlighting how if we trust God and understand that forgiveness and growth are part of the process, we can follow God’s design for sex, love, and relationships (197 199). Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture I’m not a fan of people who write entire books in the style they’d normally speak, so it was mildly infuriating at times to read on. Perhaps a spoken medium would have worked better. This book is heavy on relevance rather than substance, so it came off a bit lacking for that reason. It’s of a quick guide rather than a thought provoking book that goes into the depths of its promising title.This book is a collection of short, easy to read content which could work well for younger audiences trying to live Christ centred lives in an increasingly resistant culture. Maybe some parents may even find it useful to have not so easy conversations with their kids. However, I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone beyond that. Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture The premise of Chasing Love is that the best way to navigate this life in terms of sex, love and relationships is to stick to the Biblical ethic; this obviously flies in the face of contemporary western culture! Although this book is written primarily for Generation Z it serves really well as a primer for anyone who wants to grapple with these issues, either on your own or with someone to read along with; I plan to read it with my own near teen as a way of continuing to open up the discussion with him and I think it will work well for that purpose. The book is split into three sections. Part one argues in general that the Biblical ethic is the best way to live by demonstrating that God’s desire for people is that they flourish as they were intended to do so: the big point is that God isn’t trying to spoil your fun, but wants what’s best for you. The reader is challenged to ask “who am I listening to?”; the suggestion being that it makes sense to listen to whoever loves you the most because they will want what’s best for you, and that no one loves us than God himself who made us. The second part of the book then zeros in on three particular aspects of the Biblical Sexual ethic to argue persuasively that God’s design for Sex, Singleness, and Marriage is the best that there is. It does this by stating the biblical position, and then debunking a number of myths that culture might throw back against it. This works particularly well in that not only does this book convince that the biblical position is worth following, but also equips the Christian to answer critics if the accusations are made in public. One of the biggest challenges for teenagers today is not following the teaching of the bible, but being able to stand up for it coherently when challenged; this is a great resource for doing just that. Part three addresses a number of contemporary issues and analyses them against the Biblical worldview. Pornography, Cohabitation, Same Sex Marriage and Transgender (amongst others) are all discussed using the Bible alongside a great deal of academic research; again and again the statistics back up the claims of scripture and show that God’s design is the best for human flourishing. This is one of the really strong points of the whole book; this is not a judgmental “just do what the Bible says and don’t question it” approach, but a considered, thought through, and reasoned defence. The book itself covers a lot of ground, and perhaps one of the shortcomings is that in some areas the reader is left wanting the author does recommend further reading but it is an excellent primer and introduction to the issues at hand. It is warm, engaging, and realistic; it acknowledges that there will be times in life when moving away from the biblical ethic will be tempting because there will always be some fulfilment, joy and pleasure in following other voices because otherwise they wouldn’t be attractive. It’s also quick to remind the reader that God has compassion on sinners, and so no matter how far you may have deviated there is always forgiveness available. It then flips this on its head and reminds us that we too should have compassion on those around us for too long the church has been judgmental towards those who live differently, and this has to change. The book effuses grace and humility which makes a potentially difficult topic one in which you are left thinking there might just be some chance of wrestling with after all. Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture You'll find yourself going through this book and finish it in no timeit is an immense help and guide for people of all ages especially young people. (A must read for all the young boys and girls).I hope it will guide you in the Truth. Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture Sean McDowell’s book, Chasing Love, published in 2020, is an excellent edition on love and sexuality designed for teenage and young adult audiences. The goal of the book is to correct faulty ideology about sex taught by secular society and replace those ideas with biblical views. A discussion on contemporary controversies concludes the edition. The book consists of 30 chapters divided into three parts. First, chapters 1 9 attempt to correct ideas on love and sexuality that have permeated the minds of teenagers by secular society. Second, chapters 10 22 attempts to replace faulty ideas with biblical views on sex, singleness, and marriage. Third, chapters 23 30 deal with highly contentious issues of our day including those surrounding pornography, cohabitation, divorce, LGBTQ, and sexual abuse and demonstrate how advocates twist God’s intended design. Each chapter of Chasing Love is short, concise, and direct. McDowell’s writing style is straightforward and candid and therefore appealing to his intended audience. Each chapter concludes with a bold and audacious question such as “How do I stay sexually pure? or “Is sex with a robot wrong?” Each of these questions are answered in a transparent and succinct method. However, McDowell claims, as part of his goal for the book, is to avoid “dos and don’ts,” but rather frame the correct questions from a biblical perspective. This method allows the reader to have extended conversations with trusted Christian friends, family, and church leaders about its content. As a condition to add value for this book, the reader is encouraged to discuss the key ideas presented with important people in their life. Part one of the book challenges the reader to consider the foundation of their sexual ethics with an introductory question, “Will we live a pleasure centered life focused on self fulfillment, or will we give our lives away for a greater cause? This introductory question establishes the tone for the remainder of part one found in chapters 1 9. For example, a discussion on the important topics of trust, standards, freedom, relationships, love, and forgiveness are included and cause the reader to contemplate McDowell’s introductory question. McDowell is unequivocal with the intended purpose of his book. He wants to motivate his readers to chase a bigger question, namely, “How do I seek God and His kingdom in my relationships with other people?” or “What does it mean to truly love God and love other people?” The claim is made that if one uses these questions as a personal framework they will have the tools to answer questions about romance, sexuality, and singleness. McDowell presents a cursory review of biblical sexual ethics by briefly discussing the sexual ethics of Jesus in chapter 3. The question, “What would the world be like if everyone lived the sexual ethic of Jesus?” is posited. The clear answer is that painful experiences such as rape, divorce, sexually transmitted disease, pornography, sexual trafficking, etc., would be non existent and our society would be transformed for the better. The logical conclusion is for us to acknowledge and follow God’s commands for sexuality that is intended for our good. McDowell concludes that there is both a physical and spiritual reality to our sexual ethics that when properly aligned in our lives provides authentic freedom. Part two of the book addresses the purpose of sex, singleness, and marriage and dismisses common myths associated with each of these subjects. For example, McDowell establishes three purposes of sex which include procreation, unity, and the foreshadowing of heaven. A strong reminder is given that God has designed sex to help bond a man and woman together for life. It is this bonding that allows the two to enjoy the good gift of sex that points us toward the Giver and provides the foretaste of what awaits us in eternity. Understanding the purpose of sex sets us free to experience love, sex, and relationships as God designed them. In this section, McDowell dismisses various myths associated with the purpose of sex. These myths include the idea that “sex is not a big deal” and “sex is merely a private act.” He also debunks the myth that “sexual intercourse is all that matters for purity.” The purpose of singleness and marriage is also discussed in Part two of this book. McDowell reminds the reader that “Everyone is single for at least a season in their life” and that both singleness and marriage are equal gifts for the church. He dispels the myths that “singleness means no family” and “singleness is easy.” He concludes the singleness section by dismissing the myth that “singleness is too difficult” and encourages the church to embrace the uniqueness and gift of singleness. Part two concludes with an overview of the purpose of marriage. The idea that marriage is a reflection of God’s kingdom and a portrayal of His love for the church is depicted. Seven characteristics of marriage are outlined and include the ideas that this institution includes equal value for each partner, permanency, sexually complementary roles, procreation, companionship, monogamous status, and the notion that marriage is good. At the conclusion of this section McDowell dismisses three common myths about marriage. These include the misconception that “marriage will fulfill your ultimate relational needs” and “marriage will get rid of your sins.” Finally, the concept that “marriage sex is boring” is debunked. Chasing Love concludes with an introductory overview of highly contentious topics in chapters 23 30. These topics include pornography, cohabiation, divorce, homosexuality, same sex marriage, transgenderism, and sexual abuse. Basic definitions, statistics, common cultural views, and a biblical response are discussed. Words of encouragement and practical tips are given to the interested reader. A thematic message delivered by McDowell in this final part is that if we truly love people we cannot soften the inspired word of God. In addition, he reminds us that our identity is found in Christ alone and not in our sexuality. Chasing Love’s final chapter 30 is entitled, “You can do it!” This concluding chapter reminds the reader that focusing on God’s design for sex, love, and relationships is in our best interest and that “doing difficult things is meaninful” and that “we have the power to resist temptation.” McDowell returns to the initial question found in chapter 1, “Which path will you choose the pleasure centered life or lives of greater causes?” Perhaps, said boldly, “Will you accept the invitation of the world or the invitation of Jesus?” In Chasing Love, McDowell encourages readers to embrace Jesus’ “radical, upside down approach to love” and along the way discover answers to difficult questions about love, sex, and relationships. My only critique of McDowell’s book is that limited detail is presented on such contentious topics. Additional details replete with Scriptural references and encouragement for interested readers to seek other sources would have been helpful. Additionally, the questions found at the conclusion of each topic were easy to read and understand, but appeared to be placed at random locations and unrelated to the preceding chapter subject. Perhaps a second edition would have room for an expanded chapter with common questions. McDowell’s Chasing Love is a recommended read for all teenagers and young adults of all religious backgrounds. It is bold, transparent, and candid and exactly what the intended audience needs. It uses solid biblical principles to justify its conclusions regarding love, sex, and relationships. Chasing Love is highly recommended and deserves a five star rating. Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture